This is Me!
by Selvyn Tillett
Take away my nationality and I am a refugee, rejected by nations, repelled by borders as I search geographic locations for an identity, my piece of the rock, my corner of the world, somewhere to call home Erase my race and I am nothing but a vagrant, lost between established existing identities, trying to catch the fluttering elusive illusion of a utopian family tree Remove the color of my skin and I am a translucent, ambiguous, unidentifiable entity, looked down upon as lower than the rejected of society, banished to an anonymous existence of anonymity Expunge, or distort my history and I am like a newborn, been nowhere, anywhere to go, or be able to do for myself, waiting, ready and wanting to accept the teachings and culture of any Eliminate my sense of being and I am an empty vessel with no will to stay the course, or reason to go on, surrendering even before the fight has begun Exorcise my religion and I am a disbeliever, godless, possibly an atheist with no promises of rewards for good deeds and living right, or punishment for sins; living morally in my immorality, a dismal existence guided by my own emptiness Extract my soul and I am nothing but a bag of bones and entrails, a mindless zombie, trapped between life and death, unable to die, or pass to the next life, or live as I was meant to, or able Squash my humanity and I feel compassion for no one, even for myself, mindfulness becomes a lost commodity, crushing my sense of being, striving, wanting, needing, no reason for living Where I have been, what I experienced, where I am at, how I got here, where I am trying to go and how I will do it helps to define who I am regardless of all the colorful adjectives that can describe who I am, or not I do know that I am a traveler on an ongoing search for my ever evolving self, truth, purpose, knowledge, understanding and the prize that is around the next corner, A Belizean by birth, from that geographical location called Belize which banner I wear next to my heart; a Black man by the color of my skin and mentality; a fighter from struggling through the birth canal to life’s challenges; a wanderer as I try to find my way along the straight and narrow path; a criminal by the laws I have been accused of breaking; a father who have not behaved fatherly; an ambivalent son; an absent husband; a lifer; a victim; a survivor; a creation of God This is Me, a product of my ingredients and how they were put together, held tight by an unknown force This is Me, having no knowledge of who I would be without any part of, or all of my ingredients This is Me, seeking to understand my ever developing self, with no illusions or claims of inflated grandeur This is Me...
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